Rejected Lore book cover

Rejected Lore 5 – Lights Out

At Budgie we write a lot of lore, but we also write a lot of bad lore that doesn’t make it into the game. This is the Rejected Lore.

Rejected Lore 5 – Lights Out

Three men walked into a bar, still fuming about the previous night.  Then they saw him. They couldn’t believe their eyes, the guardian was sitting at the bar, head resting on a half-eaten plate of steak and potatoes.  

He sat up when he saw them, mashed potatoes stuck to his face. 

“Hey gals” said HotShotData, with an obvious slur. “Up for another round?”

“You don’t know when to quit, do you.”

“Your mouth says yes, but your eyes say ‘How did I get so black?’”

“You’re pretty drunk, how long you’ve been sitting here?”

“Long enough!”  The guardian turned on his stool to stand up.  His leg slipped out from under him and he went down.  “Long enough that my legs don’t work, but not as long as your mom sat on my face.”

The next hour involved all types of pain for the guardian.  Broken bones, deep cuts, the pain that made you feel like you were alive.  Not like the instant death when you got caballed from above, real pain.  He liked it, it was his therapy.

“I know what you’re thinking, guardian. I see that bloody smirk on your face.  You’re just waiting for us to finish you off, so your ghost over there can revive you and you can come back sober and punch us all with your fists.  But that ain’t gonna happen.  Not this time. We’re going to leave you right here, broken legs and arms, an inch away from death.”

“Ha, ha, ha.”  The guardian lol’d.  “I had the bartender make me a special drink tonight, guardians only. I call it ‘Lights out’. One part whisky, one part vodka and three parts strychnine.”

HotShotData saw the man’s face drop, like his ego was punched in the face,  Much like his real face soon would be. 

“Tastes awful, but you should definitely try it. At least once.” HotShotData coughed twice. He felt the convulsions inside him building violently.

“Time’s up”.  His body stiffened and dropped to the ground like a sack of mashed potatoes, and he died from the poisoning.

Now it was time for their lights out.